Overdue update

It has been so long since I've written here..life has been busy.

I am back to work full time and am caring for my beautiful 6 month old! (How did that happen!?)

As far as my cancer goes, the doctors believe that with surgery and radiation I am now good to go. I will of course continue to be monitored for any return and have to have regular bloodwork and take thyroid replacement hormone for the rest of my life..but overall it's not too bad in the grand scheme of things.

My pretty girl went for her 6 month check up yesterday and she's up to 11lbs & 10oz..24 inches long. She's still not on the charts but the doctor is very pleased with her progress because she is continuing to grow towards the chart rather than parallel with it. 

He gave us the go ahead to officially start solids after her surgeries..he'd asked us to wait at her 4 month visit and until now we'd given her a taste here and there but now he wants us to go full speed ahead..my baby is growing up so fast!

diary entry from within these four walls

I really should post more often if I expect anyone to be able to keep up with what's going on around here. I have a goal of once a week and that hasn't happened by a long stretch.

Georgiana has been home for the second time since March 1st and has been doing so much better this time around. She's such a happy baby...you'd never know by her attitude all she's been through. She's still on the small side though..just passed 8lbs on Monday and today she is 14weeks old (8 adjusted). Time flies when you spend all your time with a baby!!

She is the most precious thing and I love waking up Saturday morning with her so happy and cooing and Justin being at home. She definitely loves spending time with her daddy since she has me to herself all day every day. She and I spend most days cuddling...I'm soaking in every minute I have with her...soon I will be going back to work. I really wish I could take a few years off but we need the money. I've been out for far too long and have been very lucky to have been able to be there for her and with her during her hospital stays and to have a few great weeks at home just me & her while daddy is at work. Its time now for me to get back to reality though.

I'm currently spending two weeks away from my little family in isolation due to receiving my radioactive iodine treatment on Wednesday...I'm only on day 3 and I feel like such a prisoner. I've literally been locked in a bedroom at my Mom's house...only leaving the confines of these four walls to go to the bathroom which is right outside the door. Mom has me set up with a tiny dorm size fridge from their shop so I'm just hanging out no TV or anything...just internet and books to entertain me. After tomorrow I should be able to go out for short periods of time as long as I stay a certain distance from my mom & step dad.. These last few days have been rough. I just want my sweet cuddle bug but of course I'm here because I don't want her exposed to the radiation...so it will be next month before I see her or Justin again.

The treatment itself wasn't so bad. I just had a little swelling in my neck and my mouth has been dry and has a nasty taste. I keep brushing my teeth but it won't go away. Today everything I drink tastes so sweet when normally it does not. I was so tired after the treatment I slept for the better part of 24 hours...and I'm not entirely sure I was that tired just from the treatment...having a 3 month old that still wakes twice in the night wears on you.

I go next week on the 25th to do my whole body scan to see if the cancer had spread anywhere else. I'm sure I won't get those results until I see the doctor next month though.

Whirlwind that is my life...

So much has happened since my last post. I wanted to post this great story about breaking my little girl out of the NICU and getting her home and falling into a healthy happy baby routine...but the reality is that only half of that is really true.

We were discharged to go home on Thursday, February 7th. I really wonder if something had started to go wrong then because she had started not wanting to take her full bottle...but we'll never know.  (TMI warning- with kids, anything goes) By Saturday, she seemed to be having lots of loose poopy diapers but when I called her pediatrician they said it was normal..and probably from the change in ready-made formula to the powder kind...

On Monday, the 10th, I have my total thyroidectomy and 6 lymph nodes were removed.  I was in a ton of pain & had to stay overnight so it was Tuesday afternoon when I got home. Justin went back to work on Wednesday and his mom came out to the house to take care of the baby since my surgery limited what I could/couldn't do.

Friday, baby's first Valentine's Day, I decided I wanted to take her to see the pediatrician again because I didn't think something was right. She was still pooping loose stools & her incision site/area seemed a bit puffy to me. She just acted like she didn't feel well. I got her dressed in her cute little Valentine's Day outfit after she had her bottle & when I went to put her in the car seat she threw up all over her outfit. I didn't think anything of it because sometimes if we moved her around too much, she'd do that in the NICU. So...off to the doctor we went. He said her poop looked fine & he could not feel anything wrong with her belly & she had normal belly sounds.

I feel like I should have better advocated for my child right then & there but at the same time you trust your doctor to know if something isn't right.

On Sunday, around noon she started vomiting. We gave her pedialite as instructed by the after hours care to help keep her hydrated and followed up Monday morning with her pediatrician's office via phone. They said it was probably a bug because the pedialite stayed down through the night and instructed us to work her back onto her formula.

She was doing okay with that and so Justin & I left her with his mom so I could go to my post op appointment about my thyroid. I learned that 3 of the 6 lymph nodes taken had tested positive for cancer so the radioactive iodine is a must.

Grandma called as we were leaving to come home saying the baby had started crying and she couldn't get her to stop. Grandma is a pro when it comes to babies too because keeping babies/kids is what she's done as long as I've known her. When we got home, the baby was screaming and it wasn't a normal cry it was an I'm in pain cry...something I hope I never ever have to hear again.

We took her to pediatric after hours care since it was after hours and they sent us straight to the ER. Once there, they knew something was bad wrong but didn't know what and they felt they couldn't treat her because of her surgery so the transport team from Children's was paged out to come & get her while the hospital continued to run tests. It took several hours for them to arrive and it was close to 5am before we arrived back in Atlanta by ambulance.

We took her for x-rays and at 6:30 we met with a surgeon. She said with the x-rays they could see something was wrong and she would need to have another surgery. They wouldn't be able to tell exactly what was wrong until they got in and were able to see with their eyes. By 8:30 they were taking her back to get prepped and surgery started at 9.

It turns out her first surgery caused scar tissue to create a second blockage and her intestines perforated and leaked the contents out into her belly.

So....I was not expecting this but emotionally I'm not too banged up...just worried about my little girl through this crazy whirlwind of 10 days we've had.

almost home

Georgiana has been doing so well in her recovery that we're almost home. I feel it coming.

We've taken all our discharge classes...she just has to sit in the car seat 2 hours. They increased her to everything by mouth today so hopefully they'll get that NG tube out in the next day or so.

The doctor said today that probably by the end of the week we'll be busting out & heading south...I sure hope so. I can't wait to be home & get this little girl home.

I'm also having my thyroid surgery on Monday with pre-op on Friday so it would be amazing to get her home and settled before that happens.

Busy being a NICU Mom

Georgiana is 18 days old today. She has come so far in these last two and a half weeks.

When I first got to hold her at 4 days old she was so tiny...now her arms and legs and face have filled out a bit. I'm probably biased but I think she's the cutest little girl ever.

Her recovery has been going great. When she was 9 days old, they took that awful suction tube out and she didn't require oxygen so they placed  an NG tube and she started getting continuous feeds at 1 tiny ML/hr. She even had her first poop which meant everything was working.

Lots of firsts happened. Justin changed his first poopy diaper. I gave her a bath...my first time but not hers. I got to do skin to skin or kangaroo her. They also worked her feedings up and yesterday she was at 11ML/hr and she was given her first bottle. YAY!!!! She did so great with it and drained it dry. Now they're going to work with her every day on taking bottles so we can be ready to go home.

Justin and I are in the unit with her every day...sometimes all day. I've been pumping milk for her so she's been on my breast milk since she started feeds but my supply isn't increasing so we hit the bottom of my supply last night and now she's going to also be supplemented with formula which is sad for me because my body's just not doing what it needs to yet again. I pump every few hours 'round the clock and only get enough for a few feeds. I'm hoping I will do better if they let her try to nurse directly but we'll see.

Grand entrance...

I've had a few days, but I wanted to get this written before details became fuzzy.

Welcoming my daughter into this world at 34 weeks has been an emotional roller coaster. Nothing went as planned but somehow I have this beautiful, feisty little thing down in NICU who has completed half the battle just by being here. She did great and I think it's taken way more of a toll on me than she will ever know.

I honestly can't remember exactly what I wrote in my last update, but Friday morning (January 10th), I had my amnioreduction done. It was long and uncomfortable and they took 2 1/2 liters of fluid from around the baby. It was great, I felt so much better afterwards and the baby seemed to be doing well. We were waiting on results from my 24 hr urine to see if I had pre-eclampsia and if I did, they would transfer me to Atlanta because I would need to deliver.

Well, Miss Georgiana had other plans. A little before 1 o'clock, I went to the bathroom and got back in bed. The nurse who was keeping an eye out on me while my nurse was at lunch came in to put me back on the monitor and the baby's heart rate started dipping dangerously low. They stayed a few minutes to keep an eye out and the next thing I know, I've got oxygen on and there are about 10 nurses in the room all doing something different. They whisked me away for an emergency csection within minutes because priority was getting the baby out! I remember the anesthesiologist asking a bunch of questions before he put me to sleep within minutes. The next thing I know, I'm waking up and someone is telling me I had a girl. They tried to get me to look at her but I guess I wasn't awake enough yet because I opened my eyes again and she was gone. Talk about making an entrance...

It was several hours before I got to see her and they just brought her in on her way to be transported to Atlanta for her surgery at the children's hospital. I got to see her for just a few minutes. She was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I never knew my heart could feel this much love for someone so tiny. She was 3lbs, 8oz & 17 inches of feisty and they wheeled her away.

Justin went with her to Atlanta and surgery was done the next morning. When they got in there, what was diagnosed before as duodenal atresia turned out to be that her intestines wrapped around her pancreas but the solution was basically the same. She came through surgery great. Sunday, the doctors released me to come see her and that's when the toll of the separation really hit me. It is very hard to leave her in the NICU every night. I just want to take her home.

34 weeks

34 weeks.

It has been my goal to make it that far since they told me the baby was like me and had the blockage. Mom made it to 34 weeks with me and I did fine. So, here we are. Hello 34 weeks (yesterday).

I went in for my 34 week growth scan and I was admitted to the hospital. My amniotic fluid level jumped up from 26.7 to a 43.6 (in 9 days), they think I have pre-eclampsia and baby's growth is restricted, so he/she (I still think it's a she...so I apologize in advance if I'm wrong) is small.

I'm currently on strict hospital bed rest...I can't even get up to pee because of the risk of cord prolapse if my water were to break...so yay, I get to pee in a bed pan. They're doing a 24 hour urine catch to measure the amount of protein & determine if I do really have pre-eclampsia...and in about an hour and a half, they're supposed to be coming in to do an amnioreduction to get some of that fluid off.

I'll most likely be in the hospital now until delivery, which will probably be soon due to the growth restriction (and if I do have pre-eclampsia too). So, wish us luck!

Baby, its cold outside!

Winter in south Georgia is just not usually this cold! I can't imagine being in parts of the US where the windchill is like -35 right now. That blows my mind. I will say that we were not prepared at all for this cold front and we're almost out of gas....as in we may run out in the middle of the night with the thermostat set at only 63°. So we've got a fire going to try to combat the cold and the gas company will be out sometime tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm bundled up trying to stay as warm as possible.

Hope you and your family stay warm & cozy wherever you may be!!

This is the year!!

Happy 2014!!!

Yeah, I'm a few days late but that's ok! We're still chugging along at 33 weeks pregnant. Not much new other than I now have an appointment set for every Monday & Thursday from now to February 6th...and that's just at my MFM. Baby-time is creeping up fast and I feel like there is so much still to do! Justin still hasn't put the crib together (at least we have it though). I feel like we're nowhere near ready. I also think we'd have an ample supply of things I think we need if I had been able to work this whole time...but we basically have nothing that hasn't been given to us. Oh well, we have the necessities and that's what's important.

I'll throw in a bathroom mirror bump picture today-for your viewing pleasure.

So, as far as the new year and resolutions and all that jazz goes..my only goals or hopes for this year are that I can hopefully say sometime this year that I'm cancer free and I'll start to regain my health back one step at a time. I also have gone through so much over the last year in 2013 that I just want to work on not taking things for granted. Not my health or happiness for any reason..not people.

We came so close to losing Cam...I haven't really updated on his progress but its slow and steady. He's home now until he fully emerges and is able to use his leg that was broken. His accident and condition has really been a wake up call about how lucky and blessed we are to just be alive and able to do normal things. I will NEVER pretend that we were really close because we weren't, but he's been a part of my life for the last decade (he was only 11 when our parents got together...so I saw him grow up for the most part) and my heart stopped and dropped to the floor when we weren't sure if he'd come out of this. I also get so excited to hear about the little things he's accomplishing daily...like holding his guitar and trying to strum a note.

And finally, 2014 is the year I become a mom (and get to see Justin become a dad). I'm so nervous and excited! I can only hope that we are the best parents we can be to this little baby that we have yet to meet. It'll be a year full of firsts, that's for sure!