Christmas without baby

Well....we had our last Christmas without kids.

It definitely hasn't been the greatest Christmas but I'm thankful for things like family. Friday, before Christmas (which was on Wednesday) I couldn't get my blood pressure down..it was up in the crazy numbers again (151/101 etc). Ended up at the hospital but all my labs came back fine. They upped my blood pressure medicine and sent me on my merry way.

By Monday, I'd developed this crazy cold (which I still have now) but my blood pressure was still giving me crazy readings..I was put on bed rest and told it may take a few days for the new dosage of medicine to regulate.

I did still visit family for Christmas even though I was supposed to be on bed rest. I figured there couldn't be much difference in being on my couch or my aunts. I hadn't seen mom in months because all her spare time has been spent in Atlanta with Camryn (He's still not fully emerged from his coma but has been discharged and is home now until he does emerge so we're still praying that soon he'll come out of it.). So I really enjoyed getting to see Mom and see her excited about the baby now that I'm actually looking pregnant. She wanted to feel it kick so bad but had no luck.

We also spent Christmas morning at Justin's parents to watch his nephew open his presents..it was so fun with this being his 2nd Christmas (and birthday) he was really into it. I've never seen a kid so excited about getting socks..haha. He also loved his big toys, a ride-on Thomas the train & ride-on John Deere tractor. It was too cold for him to really get to enjoy the tractor but he loved it and it was so cute. It's so fun to think that next year we'll be doing Christmas morning with our LO who will be coming up on a year old by then.

We didn't decorate at all for Christmas this year since I've been feeling so bad and I don't regret it since I'm on bed rest but I'm so excited for next year. I told Justin there was no skipping or skimping on it next year!! I want a real tree & all.

I went back to the doctor yesterday for scheduled appointments and my blood pressure was still crazy so they upped my dosage again. I'm now taking twice the amount I was on during the 1st and 2nd trimesters...but today it is finally looking tons better!! They said my amniotic fluid level is at 30cm now so that's up 3cm since December 11th. I am also measuring full term at 32 wks due to the extra fluid. I've been very uncomfortable in the last week and I'm starting to think at this rate of fluid building, that I won't make it to induction at 39 wks. I am at 39% chance of going into preterm labor just due to baby's defect causing the extra fluid. That's not considering my obesity status or blood pressure problems.

I'm taking it one week at a time as a success. Mom made it to 34 wks with me so as long as I go 2 more weeks, I will be happy with anything past that! If I could pull through at 34 wks, I have faith my baby could too. They were able to do surgery on me the next day.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas with lots of love and family. Gifts are nice, but it isn't everything.  I'm just so happy this year that I have supportive family and that despite everything, this baby is still cooking away in my belly and even the issues present are fixable.

We have a plan..

Justin and I spent yesterday in Atlanta visiting doctor after doctor...I am extremely worn out today but we have a plan. Of course, all it is, is a plan because baby's going to do what baby wants...but I feel a little better knowing we have a goal.

We met with a doctor at Maternal Fetal and also a regular OB. When it's time to have the baby I have no idea who will be delivering me since it is such a large practice but I guess I am okay with that since nothing else about my pregnancy has been what I wanted either...I won't really know any of the doctors there like I know my own so...I'm okay with that. The tentative plan is to come in on February 3rd and have the delivering practice doctor take a look and see if my cervix has thinned/dilated at all and go from there to make a plan on HOW the induction will take place. Of course, we do not want me to go into labor on my own so far from the hospital but if I do...I will need to head into my hospital, let them stabilize me and send me up there. They're planning to induce in my 39th week. The doctor I met with yesterday stated that with this being my first pregnancy it will probably be a long induction and they will most likely use a combination of Cervadil and Pitocin but they want me to come in at 38 weeks just to check things out and see where I am on my own before they bring me in for the actual induction the following week.

Justin and I also met with a surgeon for the baby. Dr. G may or may not be the actual surgeon to do the surgery on the baby but it will be one of the doctors in the practice. I don't really feel like I learned a lot of NEW information from her but it was still reassuring to meet with her. I know more about this problem than the average mother (or anyone who's never heard of duodenal atresia) so there wasn't a lot of new information for her to tell me. We did discuss the question about whether the surgery would be through a normal cut or with lasers. She said that even now with the option, for this kind of surgery they like to do a standard cut just because they can see better what they're doing and it is less likely to miss something (like a second blockage) when they go in. She told us that standard time in the NICU for this will be about 30 days (which I had been telling Justin to expect all along) but of course, this all depends on how well baby does with recovery/feeding. It could be less or more.

She sent us over to the hospital and we met the charge nurse that was working the NICU last night. She was very nice and said she also does the transfers so she will most likely be with the baby when they transfer it over from the other hospital (even though it's just right across the street). They have a very large unit...I think she said 35 beds total. She took us on a tour and talked to us about visiting times and all that. Seeing all the tiny babies in the unit made me realize that we'd seriously be right there in just a few short weeks. I can't wait for the baby to be here and while I don't love that my baby has to go through the surgery and everything else that I did, I know that in the end, everything will be just fine and the baby won't remember it at all. Through all of the issues with this pregnancy and the cancer too, I feel blessed to be able to have the things that I do have...my supportive husband, our supportive families and of course this little baby who will be perfect in every way and I can't wait to meet this person who has changed my life already.