34 weeks

34 weeks.

It has been my goal to make it that far since they told me the baby was like me and had the blockage. Mom made it to 34 weeks with me and I did fine. So, here we are. Hello 34 weeks (yesterday).

I went in for my 34 week growth scan and I was admitted to the hospital. My amniotic fluid level jumped up from 26.7 to a 43.6 (in 9 days), they think I have pre-eclampsia and baby's growth is restricted, so he/she (I still think it's a she...so I apologize in advance if I'm wrong) is small.

I'm currently on strict hospital bed rest...I can't even get up to pee because of the risk of cord prolapse if my water were to break...so yay, I get to pee in a bed pan. They're doing a 24 hour urine catch to measure the amount of protein & determine if I do really have pre-eclampsia...and in about an hour and a half, they're supposed to be coming in to do an amnioreduction to get some of that fluid off.

I'll most likely be in the hospital now until delivery, which will probably be soon due to the growth restriction (and if I do have pre-eclampsia too). So, wish us luck!

Baby, its cold outside!

Winter in south Georgia is just not usually this cold! I can't imagine being in parts of the US where the windchill is like -35 right now. That blows my mind. I will say that we were not prepared at all for this cold front and we're almost out of gas....as in we may run out in the middle of the night with the thermostat set at only 63°. So we've got a fire going to try to combat the cold and the gas company will be out sometime tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm bundled up trying to stay as warm as possible.

Hope you and your family stay warm & cozy wherever you may be!!

This is the year!!

Happy 2014!!!

Yeah, I'm a few days late but that's ok! We're still chugging along at 33 weeks pregnant. Not much new other than I now have an appointment set for every Monday & Thursday from now to February 6th...and that's just at my MFM. Baby-time is creeping up fast and I feel like there is so much still to do! Justin still hasn't put the crib together (at least we have it though). I feel like we're nowhere near ready. I also think we'd have an ample supply of things I think we need if I had been able to work this whole time...but we basically have nothing that hasn't been given to us. Oh well, we have the necessities and that's what's important.

I'll throw in a bathroom mirror bump picture today-for your viewing pleasure.

So, as far as the new year and resolutions and all that jazz goes..my only goals or hopes for this year are that I can hopefully say sometime this year that I'm cancer free and I'll start to regain my health back one step at a time. I also have gone through so much over the last year in 2013 that I just want to work on not taking things for granted. Not my health or happiness for any reason..not people.

We came so close to losing Cam...I haven't really updated on his progress but its slow and steady. He's home now until he fully emerges and is able to use his leg that was broken. His accident and condition has really been a wake up call about how lucky and blessed we are to just be alive and able to do normal things. I will NEVER pretend that we were really close because we weren't, but he's been a part of my life for the last decade (he was only 11 when our parents got together...so I saw him grow up for the most part) and my heart stopped and dropped to the floor when we weren't sure if he'd come out of this. I also get so excited to hear about the little things he's accomplishing daily...like holding his guitar and trying to strum a note.

And finally, 2014 is the year I become a mom (and get to see Justin become a dad). I'm so nervous and excited! I can only hope that we are the best parents we can be to this little baby that we have yet to meet. It'll be a year full of firsts, that's for sure!

Christmas without baby

Well....we had our last Christmas without kids.

It definitely hasn't been the greatest Christmas but I'm thankful for things like family. Friday, before Christmas (which was on Wednesday) I couldn't get my blood pressure down..it was up in the crazy numbers again (151/101 etc). Ended up at the hospital but all my labs came back fine. They upped my blood pressure medicine and sent me on my merry way.

By Monday, I'd developed this crazy cold (which I still have now) but my blood pressure was still giving me crazy readings..I was put on bed rest and told it may take a few days for the new dosage of medicine to regulate.

I did still visit family for Christmas even though I was supposed to be on bed rest. I figured there couldn't be much difference in being on my couch or my aunts. I hadn't seen mom in months because all her spare time has been spent in Atlanta with Camryn (He's still not fully emerged from his coma but has been discharged and is home now until he does emerge so we're still praying that soon he'll come out of it.). So I really enjoyed getting to see Mom and see her excited about the baby now that I'm actually looking pregnant. She wanted to feel it kick so bad but had no luck.

We also spent Christmas morning at Justin's parents to watch his nephew open his presents..it was so fun with this being his 2nd Christmas (and birthday) he was really into it. I've never seen a kid so excited about getting socks..haha. He also loved his big toys, a ride-on Thomas the train & ride-on John Deere tractor. It was too cold for him to really get to enjoy the tractor but he loved it and it was so cute. It's so fun to think that next year we'll be doing Christmas morning with our LO who will be coming up on a year old by then.

We didn't decorate at all for Christmas this year since I've been feeling so bad and I don't regret it since I'm on bed rest but I'm so excited for next year. I told Justin there was no skipping or skimping on it next year!! I want a real tree & all.

I went back to the doctor yesterday for scheduled appointments and my blood pressure was still crazy so they upped my dosage again. I'm now taking twice the amount I was on during the 1st and 2nd trimesters...but today it is finally looking tons better!! They said my amniotic fluid level is at 30cm now so that's up 3cm since December 11th. I am also measuring full term at 32 wks due to the extra fluid. I've been very uncomfortable in the last week and I'm starting to think at this rate of fluid building, that I won't make it to induction at 39 wks. I am at 39% chance of going into preterm labor just due to baby's defect causing the extra fluid. That's not considering my obesity status or blood pressure problems.

I'm taking it one week at a time as a success. Mom made it to 34 wks with me so as long as I go 2 more weeks, I will be happy with anything past that! If I could pull through at 34 wks, I have faith my baby could too. They were able to do surgery on me the next day.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas with lots of love and family. Gifts are nice, but it isn't everything.  I'm just so happy this year that I have supportive family and that despite everything, this baby is still cooking away in my belly and even the issues present are fixable.

We have a plan..

Justin and I spent yesterday in Atlanta visiting doctor after doctor...I am extremely worn out today but we have a plan. Of course, all it is, is a plan because baby's going to do what baby wants...but I feel a little better knowing we have a goal.

We met with a doctor at Maternal Fetal and also a regular OB. When it's time to have the baby I have no idea who will be delivering me since it is such a large practice but I guess I am okay with that since nothing else about my pregnancy has been what I wanted either...I won't really know any of the doctors there like I know my own so...I'm okay with that. The tentative plan is to come in on February 3rd and have the delivering practice doctor take a look and see if my cervix has thinned/dilated at all and go from there to make a plan on HOW the induction will take place. Of course, we do not want me to go into labor on my own so far from the hospital but if I do...I will need to head into my hospital, let them stabilize me and send me up there. They're planning to induce in my 39th week. The doctor I met with yesterday stated that with this being my first pregnancy it will probably be a long induction and they will most likely use a combination of Cervadil and Pitocin but they want me to come in at 38 weeks just to check things out and see where I am on my own before they bring me in for the actual induction the following week.

Justin and I also met with a surgeon for the baby. Dr. G may or may not be the actual surgeon to do the surgery on the baby but it will be one of the doctors in the practice. I don't really feel like I learned a lot of NEW information from her but it was still reassuring to meet with her. I know more about this problem than the average mother (or anyone who's never heard of duodenal atresia) so there wasn't a lot of new information for her to tell me. We did discuss the question about whether the surgery would be through a normal cut or with lasers. She said that even now with the option, for this kind of surgery they like to do a standard cut just because they can see better what they're doing and it is less likely to miss something (like a second blockage) when they go in. She told us that standard time in the NICU for this will be about 30 days (which I had been telling Justin to expect all along) but of course, this all depends on how well baby does with recovery/feeding. It could be less or more.

She sent us over to the hospital and we met the charge nurse that was working the NICU last night. She was very nice and said she also does the transfers so she will most likely be with the baby when they transfer it over from the other hospital (even though it's just right across the street). They have a very large unit...I think she said 35 beds total. She took us on a tour and talked to us about visiting times and all that. Seeing all the tiny babies in the unit made me realize that we'd seriously be right there in just a few short weeks. I can't wait for the baby to be here and while I don't love that my baby has to go through the surgery and everything else that I did, I know that in the end, everything will be just fine and the baby won't remember it at all. Through all of the issues with this pregnancy and the cancer too, I feel blessed to be able to have the things that I do have...my supportive husband, our supportive families and of course this little baby who will be perfect in every way and I can't wait to meet this person who has changed my life already.

Give Thanks...it's almost Thanksgiving

With just a few days until the holiday is upon us, I wanted to make an inspirational post to share some of the things I am thankful for this year. Some people may think...with everything going on, how can you be thankful? I can, and I am. I know that no matter how hard things feel, it could be worse. I may be going through some tough times physically and emotionally but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and this too shall pass.

I am very thankful for my husband who is strong when I need him (and I've needed him a lot lately.)

I am thankful for the love and support from family. It's times like this that I love being part of a large extended family because they're always checking in on me and praying for me and Baby.

I am thankful that Camryn is making progress no matter how slow it may seem. He's almost in a semiconscious state according to the doctors and even got to go on a trip outside yesterday! They said he had his eyes wide open taking in his surroundings. That was the first time he's been outside since his accident.

I am thankful that all the tests have come back about Baby and we know we are dealing with just an isolated duodenal atresia. No other abnormalities, no down syndrome or any of the other things they tested for. I would have loved my child either way but from a treatment standpoint, it makes things more simple and easy to treat.

I'm thankful for the knowledge of my doctors who were able to diagnose my cancer and know what the best plan of action to get me back to myself is. I'm thankful that the type of cancer I have isn't aggressive and that it's one of the more curable types.

I am thankful for this little life I feel kicking around inside me. My life has already changed so much because of it. I can't wait to meet the baby and find out if there is a little girl or boy in there (either way it's already just like me in some ways & like it's Daddy in others).

So, as you see...I really have plenty to be thankful for. I didn't even mention the basics of living (home, food, electricity) and still there is so much that I can find good in all the negativity. So, no matter what you have going on, just seek out the positives in your situation and don't dwell on the negatives. Doing so will only get you down.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Enjoy the good food, have some good laughs & make some good memories. I definitely plan to!

It's official...

Yesterday, Justin and I had a 12 hour trip total to Atlanta.

We had an MRI scheduled for 5:30 pm at Scottish Rite Children's Hospital (Check-in at 4:30) so they could look to confirm that Baby does have Duodenal Atresia...and also check for any other abnormalities.

Our trip started around 11 am. We left the house, headed over to my Mom's house to pick up some things to take to my step-dad. They came home this weekend to rest, regroup and start again. My Mom went back to work since she carries the insurance and will need some time off for me and Baby and Toby went back to Atlanta to stay on Sunday morning. He left all his clothes that Mom had washed (silly men! They don't think they need clean clothes.) so Justin and I stopped in to grab them so we could bring them to him. We had lunch at the Pizza Place in my hometown and headed on up to Atlanta. We arrived at the Shepherd Center to see Camryn around 3 so it was a pretty long trip up. We visited with them for about an hour. I am very glad I got to go see him. He's making progress, slow but steady and they have a ranking scale they use that says he's one point away from being in a semi-conscious state. (yay, Cam!) Each day he's able to do more than the previous day at therapy and it is so great to see and hear about the progress he's making. So, after our brief visit with him, we headed on over to the Children's hospital to get checked in and all. At around 5:30 they took me back to get me in the ugly hospital gown and talk to me about the procedure.

Let me just say, I hope I never, ever, ever have to have another MRI as long as I live. It was fine at first but about 10 minutes in, I literally had a panic attack. If they had not let Justin sit with me, I'm not sure what I would have done because my arms were all crossed over my chest and I was in a sheet like a burrito and I freaked OUT!!!!! I felt like I couldn't breathe. The baby was kicking. So, the tech stopped and I was able to put my hands up above my head and that felt so much better. I felt like I didn't have a huge brick on my chest anymore. Justin held my hands the rest of the procedure which was way better than the first half. I was so uncomfortable and my back was hurting very bad from the pressure of the baby and laying on the hard little gurney thing, (My back is still killing me today!) but I didn't feel so constricted and I could breath. Justin has no idea how much he helped me make it through those last few minutes in that machine.

When I sat up, I was so dizzy. It took several minutes for me to feel normal. I assume, because they had me flat on my back for so long. They took me back to the room to get my clothes on and sent me on my way. The tech did say when she first started the machine, she got a picture of Baby with it's hands up over it's ears like it was trying to block out the sound. She said it made her feel bad. So we got out of the hospital around 7 and headed back home. We stopped for dinner and ended up pulling in the driveway around 11 pm. Whew! What a day!

Today, I talked to the geneticist at my MFM office and she said they already had the results and it does confirm what Dr. H suspected, that it is in fact, Duodenal Atresia...but on the bright side...they don't see any other abnormalities. We have an appointment on December 11th with a pediatric surgeon in Atlanta for a consultation and will probably be meeting with someone at the Maternal Fetal Specialists office too if they can arrange to meet us the same day, we're just waiting to hear from them. The definite plan is to deliver at Northside Hospital in Atlanta, we just need to meet with a team to determine the logistics.